The U.S. and China have huge cultural differences, and one of the biggest is tipping culture. It shows up in all kinds of everyday situations and can determine whether your spending habits come across appropriately. Today I want to talk about how I tip in the U.S.
I believe that when many students first arrive in the U.S., the first lesson older schoolmates teach when taking them out to eat is that you need to tip. People may joke about being careful around upperclassmen, but on this point, they are not misleading you.
Since we are talking about culture, this is really a moral issue. In other words, people can say you are being inconsiderate, but nobody can point a gun at you and demand a tip, or call the police because you did not leave one.
When you are struggling with whether to tip and how much to tip, think about whether you received any extra service. I will mention this a lot below: the so-called added value that makes you willingly spend more.
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Restaurants
Let’s start with dining, which is the biggest tipping minefield.
People who work in food service, especially those in direct customer-facing roles, mostly rely on tips to make a living. Employers try to keep base wages as low as possible, so I recommend tipping 15%–20% whenever possible. If you had a bad dining experience because of the service or the food itself, you can complain to the manager. Try not to retaliate by docking the server’s tip. As for whether to leave 15% or 20%, that depends on whether you received extra service. For example, if a server checks in often, asks whether your meal is going well, offers help, and does their best to meet your requests, I would tip 20% or even more.
Another important service role is food delivery. Delivery service often already comes with a fee. In general, I would tip around 10%, or add the fee and the tip together to get to about 15%, which is pretty reasonable. If the delivery arrives quickly, or the driver is especially pleasant, you can tip a bit more. Food tastes better hot, after all. If you tip more, no matter how busy they are, they will think harder about how to get your food to you faster. That is the so-called added value. In general, 15% is already quite good.
At some buffets, if I go to a hibachi station, barbecue counter, or sushi bar and ask them to cook something to order or slice a few pieces of fish for me, I will tip $1–2 as a thank-you.
No matter whether the final bill was reduced by a discount or promotion, tip based on the original price.
If I am drinking at a bar and sitting at the counter, I usually add an extra dollar for a beer. If I order cocktails, I tip 20%. If a group is sitting in a lounge or booth area, I use restaurant standards and tip around 15%–20%.
At the front counter of a takeout place, if it is a shop I visit often and the cashier recognizes my last name or knows what I usually order, I will tip $2.
One exception for dine-in restaurants: in places like Chinatown, some restaurants have signs saying no tips. In that case, do not tip. Either there is little or no table service, or the service charge is already built into the food price.
Also, pay attention when the bill comes. Some shady businesses add a service charge directly to the check, and if that happens, do not tip again on top of it.
Hotels
Let’s start at the entrance. There are actually quite a few situations in hotels where people tip, but they are mostly for so-called added services. If you do not want to use those services, you can simply decline them and avoid tipping.
Many hotels have valet parking, and sometimes there is no way around it. I usually tip $2 when handing over the car and $3 when picking it up. Once the car is parked, I try not to move it again, because every extra trip can cost you another $5.
Then there is the bellhop. If you have a lot of luggage and do not want to carry it yourself, you can hand it over to the bellhop. I would estimate about $1 per bag, or $5 per cart.
The concierge helps with shopping or arranging purchases, and I generally tip 15%. If housekeeping brings toothpaste, extra towels, or similar items, I tip $1 per item.
As for the front desk, if talking with them—or even without much talking—gets me upgraded to the room type I wanted, I would give $10 per night or $20 per stay as a thank-you.
Many people leave a tip on the pillow after checkout. I am usually pretty stingy about that. If I did not leave the room especially messy or dirty, I usually do not tip. On the other hand, if I did make more of a mess, I will leave $2 on the pillow. For longer stays, I usually ask for housekeeping once every two or three days, and I leave $2 then as well.
If, after checkout, you ask the bellhop to bring your luggage downstairs, tip the same as you would when they bring it up.
So in hotels, most tipping situations are tied to added services. You asked for help, they provided it, and the tip is a way to show appreciation. This is different from restaurants, where servers often rely heavily on tips to make a living. In hotels, if you ask for something and then tip, the staff will appreciate it. If you do not want to spend the money, try not to trouble them unnecessarily.
Other Situations
For rides, whether it is Uber, Lyft, a Lincoln town car, or a taxi, it usually depends on the service. Generally, I do not tip, but if the driver gets out to open the door or helps with luggage, I give $2 as a thank-you.
For haircuts, I am a pretty low-maintenance guy and do not ask for much. If I get a haircut that costs a bit over $10, I tip $5. If readers have all sorts of extra requests, then tip more accordingly. I honestly have not dealt with that myself.
For massages, I also tip based on the quality of the work, usually 15%–20%. As for nail services that some women get, I have no experience there. My LD has also been great at saving me money and has never gone even once.
When traveling, just follow what the tour guide tells you to do. Or discuss it with the people around you. Try not to be rude, but also do not waste money.
When having fun at a casino, if you ask a server for a drink, tip $1–2. That is entirely mood-based. As for the dealer, that depends on how good they are.
That is all I can think of for now. I will add more if I think of anything, or readers can remind me.
Everything above is simply based on how I personally spend and tip in daily life, according to my own understanding of tipping culture. So far I have not gotten any dirty looks. This is purely my personal opinion and does not represent some broader social trend.
If readers get dirty looks for doing the same things, I take absolutely no responsibility.